Puffed Up? Who...me? Part 3

So...here comes God with a spanner in the works! If you have ever tried giving a rational response in the morning just after you woke up, it's ten times crazier when you are under-rested, you just realized that your day started two hours earlier than it should and you are incensed. I was spoiling for a fight and the way things appeared, God was in for one. "I am not sure but let's do this, if I am, point me to instances in the recent past where I have been", I offered. I might have been an emotional roller-coaster, but I still had my wits about me. I am a sucker for language. Twisting words, expressing words, toying with words. Well, that's my thing. Words excite me and I know how to use them...at least most times, and this time was no exception. By inserting 'recent past' in my statement, I hoped I had put God in a fix. This was one argument I was willing to push for the two hours that I felt God had denied me. I was onto a simple philosophy; we have to fill up this 'sleeping time' with as much drama as possible to make up for my foul mood. I am like that sometimes you see.

Silence. Nothing pisses me off than the silence of an opponent when I am armed and ready to get into a fight. I am now confused. Doesn't God now want to engage? Still silence. I pick up my phone. This void has to be filled somehow. Whatsapp here I come. I get into my usual places. Groups first. I go through the conversations, the ones that interest me at least. Everything else I conveniently skip. Do you know that trick in a WhatsApp group where you open, swipe your finger up the screen to the bottom of the conversation and then exit without reading a single message? I have often been a master of that trick. Lol.  I then look at the inboxes. I pick what interests me. The rest can wait. After all, I don't feel like engaging. Not today. Today I might just be the salt of the earth (pun intended), and my salt might be a bit too strong for someone's daughter or son to handle this morning.

I am just about to get into gaming mode. You see, on my phone I have this game called HomeScapes. It is a home renovation game and it is the ideal 'pacifier'. I exit WhatsApp ready for my adventure. Then He strikes again. Out of the silence, "In the WhatsApp conversations that you went through today, what did you mostly skip?" Then it hit me. I have been very effective at skipping devotionals, forwards, and the likes (some of them with justifiable cause btw). "Which conversations did you choose to respond to?" He pressed farther. I had only replied to messages that were either asking for help, or offering an opportunity to shed light and insights, or interesting ones that people were all diving in to give input into. I was getting ready to pat myself on the back for knowing how to select the content that I interact with, when i realized that that was not today's lesson! "Today's lesson" began to gradually sink in.

Subconsciously, I had gotten to a place within myself where I felt some people deserved my input but not others (depending on the biases I have), some conversations were of less importance than others (depending on who was involved), some content was not as deep (based on who was sharing), some people were not as eloquent, etc. Then in the sweetest and most gentle voice "are you puffed up son?". I didn't respond. I wept instead. Reality Check. Guilt. His arms were open wide. I didn't wait. I walked straight into them. The embrace of my Father. More tears. You're probably hoping I'll end this with an altar call or some cleverly done call to action. I won't. Am just happy that I can be loved by God despite my shortcomings.